In this year of All the Things, I somehow thought I could write and publish another book in these last two months.
Go ahead. You can laugh. My tarot and oracle cards were laughing at me last week, too.
I really thought I could finish that book, even though putting out three books this year was a minor miracle. I still felt the pressure to get in One More. But just a short one. No big deal.
That, folks, is how I landed right back in the burnout pit.
But this isn’t a burnout post. (There may be one later, but this isn’t it.)
This is a post about balls.
(You should see the jokes I cut.)
We’re all juggling too many balls, especially this time of year. We know this deeply. Knowing that doesn’t solve the problem. What does (partially) solve the problem is knowing which of those balls to drop and which ones have to stay in the air.
When Nora Roberts was once asked about juggling all the things, she said the key is knowing “that some of the balls you have in the air are made of plastic & some are made of glass.”
Want to know a secret? Most balls will bounce. Also, the ones that would shatter and need to stay in the air today might morph into plastic or rubber next week. It’s a constant assessment.
So that’s why I took an extra week to write this post. It was definitely plastic. But that wasn’t the only reason that writing this took longer than I expected.
I always knew this post would bounce. I’m really good at shifting things on my schedule and knowing what my priorities are at any given moment. It’s intuitive most of the time, and a quick scan reveals those priorities when my intuition is busy with other things.
But in writing this, I realized something. I didn’t have an assessment problem. I didn’t have a prioritization problem. I had a motivation problem. (And a stubbornness problem.)
See, I didn’t want to drop this ball. Or any other ball. Glass, plastic, stone, doesn’t matter. They’re my balls, and I want to keep them all.
I’ve gotten better at saying no to unnecessary outside obligations and culling things I really don’t want or need to do. So almost everything that’s left in my circus act is something breakable (kid health appointments, bills, etc.) or something I put into the circus act: MY novella, MY Blog, MY new Secret Project. I get really cranky when my things are always the balls getting dropped.
So I’ve hit a problem The Great Nora can’t help with. I probably need to schedule a therapy appointment for this one, but in the meantime, I’m reabsorbing the words of Tiffany Dufu, author of Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less.
I always love hearing interviews with her, and if you’re unfamiliar, I suggest checking out this video speech for a short (under 20 min) intro: Tiffany Dufu: Drop the Ball Instead of Trying to Do It All. You’ll get this lovely quote that hits me right in the gut: “[…] sometimes in an effort to get things done we can stunt other people’s growth,” along with the three balls we should all consider dropping first. A lot of her points aren’t my particular issues (I do not care how you fold my towels, please just fold them), but there’s a lot of great mindset and self-examination stuff to ponder.
So which balls am I dropping? Well, I dropped this post long enough, so it was time to put it back in the air. To make room for it, I had to drop something else… the book. *wince* That one stung. But for many reasons that included my mental health, I finally accepted that I needed to take a break.
Even though every writing session was pure agony during November, I didn’t want to let that book go. Not even temporarily. There may have been a tantrum or two.
The upside to letting that ball drop for a while was that it opened up mental space and energy for other possibilities, not to mention the space to get the flu and not freak out about being even more behind than I already was. I hinted above at a new secret project, and I couldn’t have worked on that if I hadn’t dropped the book (for now). I didn’t need complete rest or to not work at all, it’s just that I needed to shift gears and work on something energizing with lower stakes while I’m climbing out of burnout (again. still. whatever.)
This is also the time of year when a lot of us start thinking about what we want to do next year. Our focus becomes all about what we want to add to our already full plates. In other words, what new balls do we want to throw into our circus act?
I know I can’t do it all. When we have lots of responsibilities (non-writing jobs, family, household management, caregiving, etc.) our available time and energy can be severely limited.
(Yeah, I don’t like to admit that either.)
Before I look at what new things I want to do in 2023, I’m going to examine what’s already on my plate. It’s time for a ruthless culling of my schedule, obligations, and projects. Or maybe a more gentle Kondo-style release. Either way, it’s time to assess my top priorities, what’s working right now, and what brings me joy. Then I need to ditch everything else.
Think about what you can drop this month to give yourself a little extra breathing room. I dropped a whole book from my plans, but your thing can be as small as you like. If you’re up for sharing, I’d love to hear what you pick in the comments!
What ball are you dropping this month?
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